I can’t help it. I’m so eager to go on vacation, it’s all I can think about. So the other day while suffering through my time at the office, I got to thinking about how a person knows they need a vacation. I’ll warn you, some of the signs are a little…silly. But what’s traveling without a little silly thrown in? So, take a seat and read through my fifteen signs that you need to be on vacation. Then, if you think of something I missed, add it in the comments. Let’s be silly together….while packing for that next great trip.
Here goes…You know you need a vacation when:
- It’s Thursday. Thursdays are hands down the best day of the week. Okay, maybe not the best, but it is the day of the week worth celebrating. After all, you’ve made it through Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, so by the time you get to Thursday, you totally deserve a reward. Like a vacation! So, take one. Mark it off on the calendar. Plan one for next Thursday. Go! Go! Go on vacation! It’s Thursday! Come to think of it, any day that ends in “day” is worthy of celebration in the form of a get-in-the-car-roll-down-the-windows-turn-up-the-music-and-drive kind of vacation. So if the boss asks…just explain it. He’ll understand. I think.
- You have family you haven’t seen in a while. Family is important, right? Parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. That third cousin twice removed from your ex-husband’s side of the family that never really liked you anyway? Yep, gotta go see them. If for no other reason than they live in an exotic location and you want to make sure the money filled birthday/Xmas cards keep coming, you must go visit the family.
- Your kids have a report due. This is important. It’s educational. Seeing the wonders of the world up close and personal are a great way to get the grades up. So don’t bother waiting for the school system to tell you a vacation is “allowed”. Just call the kids (and yourself) in sick and get on the road. Book the next flight. Walk if you must…though it is a long way to the Grand Canyon.
- You need a break from the family. I know, you just read number 2 again and think I’m contradicting myself, but I’m not. Sometimes you need to get away. It’s self-care. It’s important to find yourself. And let’s face it; Aunt Sadie wants a break from you sometimes too. So give her one. Pack your bag, give her a hug, and be on your way. She’ll thank you for it someday. And if she doesn’t, just send her a postcard from wherever it is you went. Trust me. Your self-care is worth it!
- When everyone you know (this can be any number of everyone from 0-100 people) is on vacation and you’re not. Look around you. Where is everyone at right now? This can include strangers because of the 6 degrees of separation. Factoring in that bit of science, somewhere you know someone who knows someone who is on vacation and you’re not. Don’t be the odd one out here. Turn in that PTO slip and turn on the automatic response to your e-mail. Everyone else is on vacation, why shouldn’t you be?
- You need to do some shopping. This is an extremely important reason to go on vacation. When it’s time for a vacation (trust me, you’ll know when it’s time) you will realize with an intensity you didn’t know existed that there isn’t a single shopping facility within a 500 mile radius of where you live that is good enough for your money. It doesn’t matter what shopping district is in your neck of the woods, you must travel far and wide to shop. Somewhere. Else. Trust me on this one. I know. I’ve been there.
- You realize you’ve never “partied hard”. Now, I’m not sure what it means to party hard, but when I was fact checking with my daughter on the signs that show a person needs a vacation, she assured me this is a valid reason. Haven’t partied in a while? It’s time for a trip. Do you have a history of only partying softly? Yep, gotta go on vacation to do it right. Party hard, folks.
- The car rental place calls you. Yes, I have gone on a vacation (we dubbed it the “pre-trip”) solely to rent a car because it was cheaper to rent it in Phoenix Arizona than in or near Woodland Park Colorado. Haven’t rented a car in a while? Fly somewhere, get off the plane, rent a car, and then drive to the actual destination (the “trip”). Still need something to do? Take the “post-trip” back to the car rental place you got the car from before flying home. It’s. Worth. It.
- You are prone to getting lost. I know this may sound strange, but listen up, this is important. If you’re anything like me, you were born without a sense of direction. You could get lost at any time if you’re not careful! So, to avoid getting lost, go above and beyond what your mother used to do when she gave you a quarter for a phone call home. Take a vacation and purchase a hoodie with the name of the place you are visiting scrawled across it. If you travel to enough places you’ll have a suitcase full of “quarters” and you’ll never get lost again. It’s fool proof, really.
- You’re about to leak the secrets of what happened the last time you were in Vegas. Everyone knows that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. So, please, for the sake of all humanity get back to Vegas if you are bursting with the need to tell all that happened the last time you were there! It doesn’t matter what happened in Vegas, but you can’t. Tell. Anyone. About it. Go back to Vegas. It will give you an opportunity to do (again) whatever it is people do in Vegas and folks will know the secret is safe with you. (Shhhh….go to Vegas.)
- You’ve forgotten how to be thankful. If you’re reading this from the comfort of your home, take a look around you. Do you see all that you’ve accumulated since moving in? Come on, look around. Now how do you feel? Are you taking it all for granted? Feeling a little ungrateful for all that life has afforded you? If you felt even the slightest bit unappreciative, stand up, reach for the nearest tent (go buy one if you must) and leave. Right now. Tent camping is the only way to cure this sense of thanklessness. Go, pitch your tent, and sleep on the hard, unforgiving ground. It’s your moral obligation to do so.
- You have lost all interest in the healthy lifestyle you had started back in January. Never mind that it’s only March 1st. Going on vacation will restore your need to burn calories, do sit-ups, go jogging, and eat bag after bag of pre-made salad. Taking a vacation for the sole purpose of fitting into a bikini that consists of less material than an old fashioned cloth diaper will be good. For your health. I swear.
- You’ve just had a yard sale and cleaned out all the old chatchkis you bought on your last vacation. I understand you just made a whopping $1.57 for a crate load of souvenirs and managed to de-clutter the house enough that Hoarders is no longer calling you for the next season, but what will you do without a keychain or tote bag or pencil case or notebook or anything that doesn’t have the name of some foreign city emblazoned across the front of it? You need a vacation to stock up…for your next yard sale.
- It hits you that you are geographically dislocated and were born (or planted) in a place that isn’t the beach. Or the mountains. Or Spain. Or Greece. Or wherever it is you wish you lived right. This. Minute…and don’t.
- The sense of being trapped in a mindless, boring, ongoing rut is painful and you know that the only way to get FREEDOM is to pack up your clothes, the kids, the spouse, the dog, and even the fish tank and get. On. The. Road. Because the only way to find true freedom if you’re a roadie like I am is to have the wind in your hair, the music cranked up, and your painted toe nails resting against the dashboard with a real map, a Rand McNally no less, spread out on your bare, tanned legs while you ride off into the sunset. –Unless you’re the guy and then you’ll be doing the driving.